their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We need to rekindle our bromance
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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