You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
