I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
