scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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