was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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