I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
