Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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