epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
