I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize