I just saw a hot homeless man
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
