dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
