Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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