im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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