very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
