im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
