I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
