k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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