so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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