so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
