3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
