My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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