When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
