Got a toothbrush?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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