So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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