Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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