quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
