90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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