Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize