that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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