so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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