are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize