Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
