did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
