don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
