Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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