You just made me feel so damn special
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
