Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
