i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
