This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize