You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just pee around me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
