Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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