Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
be right there i have to get my cape
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
