you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
