Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He shit in the fireplace
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
