this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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