So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
