I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
