if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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