my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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