btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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