when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dear god my vagina.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
