Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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