I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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