How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
