Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
