I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize