you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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