So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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