once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
