Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
