So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just invented taco cereal.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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