i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
