now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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