I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You pole danced in your parka.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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