I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
