you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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