Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
