He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
someone owes me an orgasm
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
