four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
