My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
no you cant smoke seaweed
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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