Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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