Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize