NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
