i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
