dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
