the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize