i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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